I can’t take it anymore.
Seeing all of them happy.
Watching them into eachothers eyes.
I’m tired of never feeling that way.

Every kiss, every touch they make,
Reminds me of you.
I want to feel that way.
I miss the way you made me feel.

I want to feel the sensation of you touch.
I want to feel your lips touch mine.
I want to feel your warm hug.
I want to stare into your eyes again.

I could never have that again.
I could never feel that way.
I could never fall in love with another.
Because I only want to love you.

Alright- it is perfectly fine to email my message center with lots of dirty messages… stories… sex stories… questions… fetish… ideas.

It is NOT ok to SPAM MY DAMN INBOX with ads for other porn sites or other porn stars. DO NOT spam my ass or I will delete you from my website PRONTO. PRONTO.

DO NOT SPAM ME WITH 25 MESSAGES ABOUT YOUR PORN SITE.

Got it??

Anyone going to NYC for the 4th?? I have a friend that works for the Macys events team and invited me again this year to go see the fireworks this year. I went last year and had a blast but this year they are doing the fireworks over the Hudson river so its bound to be really beautiful. There is this town across the Hudson from Manhattan where it’s a bunch of little bars and restaurants… just a fun little cute town with lots of shops and parks to chill in. The PERFECT place to watch the fireworks if you ask me.

Should be a good time and sure to be a drunken time!!! Anyone else have any cool plans for the 4th??

Awwww… my childhood hero David Carradine passed away. That makes me so sad. I guess he either hung himself or had some kinky ass sexcapade go wrong and ended up hanging himself. UGH!!! Okay, I am into a lot of kinky shit but the whole choking and strangulation stuff freaks me the hell out. Bondage.. yes… but that stuff no. This is a prime example as to how wrong it can all go.

I would really prefer for the stupid media assholes to STOP talking crap about him and let his damn family grieve in peace!!

You will be missed grasshopper. You were a tv and movie Icon.

xoxoxo and RIP.

OMG!! I am uber mad right now. I guess I apparently went on the wrong website and somehow ended up with 43 trojans…. and not the fucking type either! I KNEW I had a virus but everyone was saying it was just my cable modem… but after ranting for a week one of my friends burnt his anti virus on a disk for me and I was able to run a scan and YUP 43 trojans! I know it was the porn! Damnit!!!

Now it’s not running quite right and I’m about to throw it through my tv!! Or… take the high road and buy myself the MAC that I’ve been longing for…

thoughts?? What do you guys think?? Throw it through my 50 inch or buy a new laptop??

Just wanted to take a moment out to say HAPPY MEMORIAL DAY BOYS!! God Bless all of you boys over there in the sandboxes that are fighting for our every right to be free! You are all in my thoughts and prayers and tonight I drink to you!! Also- as a little extra bonus… when I go home tonight and fuck myself raw I will have my hard cum filled orgasm especially for you!!

happy memorial day guys!! Stay safe and I love you all!!

xoxoxoxo Veronika

Wherever you are!! You kids need to start writing to me more in my message center. I am beginning to think that you don’t love me anymore. Are you hiding? Or just wishing I would expose my tight little cunt to you some more? More anal? More orgies? Lesbian action? What gives???

Give me some love! I’m feeling unloved!!

I have to admit that, yes, I did talk a lot of shit about the Twilight movie and thought that it was really stupid but I have to admit… I am in love with the BOOK!!!! Okay, I went to DC last weekend and had to be on the plane for a few hours and out of sheer desperation I bought the book and… I am in LOVE!! Hahaha- seriously! I now see why every woman on the planet is in love with these stupid books. And I also see why they all hate the movie because compared the books the movie was… awful.

I can’t stop reading.. lol sorry if I have been MIA but I am a little distracted by this damned book!

I am so over the whole Carrie PreJean bullshit. She’s trash. If it’s walks like a duck, quaks like a duck, or whatever the hell else they do.. then it’s a DUCK!! She’s an airhead dipshit that doesn’t deserve the media time that she has been given because of her stupid answer to a question. If she’s a bigot let her be a bigot.

I have to laugh with every new twist I hear about this bitch. I’d like to slap her.

That is all.

so back to what my friend said: living life for himself and not the way others expect him to live…that comment sounds so familiar because I said it to myself a few years ago…is it something that all of us say? I said it because I got comfortable in a situation, and felt like I wasn’t going to grow anymore if I stayed where I was at…I think that sometimes when we get comfortable with someone, we compromise who we are and it is very difficult to be true to ourselves…especially when your like me, who is always trying to make people’s lives easier…life is ironic…we spend most of our young life educating ourselves…trying to better ourselves, trying to discover what it is that we like, dislike and what our true values and morals are…so after we do that, we are supposed to find someone that we ‘love’ and settle down with them…but how in the world are we supposed to find that person that we mesh so well with when it took us twenty something years to figure out ourselves…I guess it is possible that we find someone who we are highly compatible with…because at this point, you hope and pray that they have at least figured out a big chunk of themselves…but how can you guarantee that the person will accept you for you, and the changes that you will make throughout your life…life is a process, and it is always changing…and not everyone is very accepting of change…